Thank you Nancy. Such tender witnessing from you 🙏It’s one of my favourite things now, to find new ways to express that underdying love. It always trumps the loss if I let it ❤️
Dom touching lives, yes, I believe this. His view now, from a forever changing vista. Reminding us that change is our friend, to be lived now. Indeed we are their memory keepers and creators. Hitch hiking along on all our adventures our beloveds are doing.
Cooking again with Dom. He has a few new tricks up his sleeve, no doubt.
Thanks Joanie, your words warm and fill my mum heart ❤️ Ever changing vistas for Dom is such a beautiful thought. And of course ours change too as you say. It’s made me think about the poem depicting our climbing the grief mountain to achieve a different view.
A New Beginning by S.C. Lourie
Sometimes I wonder why life feels
So uphill most of the time.
But maybe the mountains are rooting for us.
Maybe they want us to see sights
We would never get to see without them.
Because in that moment,
When life takes your breath away
For all her beauty, you are reborn.
And I don't think there is anything
More perfect in this world
Than a new beginning.
As ever, your words about Dom’s life and influence beyond his 30 years land so beautifully for me. 🙏❤️
Esther, your words always find a way to reach right through the screen. The way you write about Dom, about the light he brought and the love he left behind, is powerful and deeply moving. I can feel his presence in your memories and in the courage you show, sharing both the pain and the vibrant fullness of his life. Thank you for letting us witness this journey with you. I just want you to know I’m here, holding space for Dom’s story and for yours. Sending you warmth and admiration from across the miles.
What beautiful words to wake up to 😀 That you felt all these things in my writing means such a lot to me. I want my pieces to do two things: to honour my wonderful son, and to show that I understand how incredibly tough it is for parents to walk out of the darkness that shrouds this kind of loss.
Being witnessed as I do this is everything. Thank you Sunshine for doing this today 🙏❤️
The poem, your words about your son, the photos, your thoughts about them, the message left on Facebook from someone who knew your son that you just discovered - of of this and more in this post spoke to me, comforted me, resonated with me. Thank you. I too lost a child to suicide. I too have learned from that precious child who was an adult when she died about how to live life. I’m still learning how she impacted and remains a part of the lives of others. May you find comfort in know how both you and Dom have brought love and light into the lives of others who keep on living after such tragic loss. Thank you again.
Sally, thank you so much for this lovely reflection on this post and my larger aim to help other parents who face this terrible loss. It is not at all easy, of course. So many aspects to our grief which trip us up and we have to work to face-down if we are to honour ourselves and our precious child.
I’m glad you have developed a relationship with your daughter which allows you to feel her presence in your life and celebrate the impact she made in the time she had on this earth. This is where our healing lies, isn’t it.
Esther, you continue to inspire me with the way that you value Dom's life so beautifully and that you are committed to living yours as fully as you can. I also love that you found the message from the girl who cooked with him. These small gestures mean so much. You are a wonderful mother.
Esther, I read your article twice because I didn’t want to miss anything about your awesome son, Dom. Dom was truly a gift in so many ways, leaving an unforgettable mark on this world and on the people who loved him. I especially loved the touching story about his trip to Vietnam and the young woman from Cambodia who made such an impression on him. It revealed the depth of his heart, his compassion, and the way he embraced life so fearlessly.
Dom lived courageously, and I agree with you completely that he fought a good fight. Like Kevin, he battled with all his strength. Unfortunately, their disease won. But I believe with all my heart that they were incredibly brave.
Mental illness robbed us of our beautiful boys, and that truth is heartbreaking beyond words. Thank you for writing such a touching, revealing, and loving piece about your son. Through your words, his spirit shines so brightly, and may his life continue to touch others.❤️
Thank you for witnessing Dom so beautifully with me. It really means such a lot Chano. Our boys will always be present if we keep honouring their struggles and viewing them, quite rightly, through the prism of courage 🙏❤️
Such a powerful transitional poem, Esther...realizing that neither Dom nor you belonged in the shadows. Oof! Coming to that acknowledgement...when the shadows that grief throws are difficult to step out of, the shadows that depression throws being the same...is opening the door to the daylight. How often we wonder if there will ever be enough light in the room to have those dark spaces disappear. Praying that there always is enough light. Trusting there is. Big hugs to you, my friend. Many blessings and MUCH LOVE. ~Wendy💜
Thank you Wendy! It’s so important that these shadows are acknowledged, isn’t it. So that they become, to use your words, a transitional place. We transition through them, to a place of light, on different cycles, I believe. Some very small…hour to hour, day to day at the start, and then, as time goes on, the cycle gets bigger. I still have moments of returning there but the realisation that it’s really not where I’m meant to be is becoming a known memory. And I believe Dom is part of that knowing now, always nudging me to remember we both belong in a much happier place.
As ever, being deeply witnessed as you do me means so much. Sending much love to you too ❤️
Beautiful Dom, 'still so present', forever and always ♾️
I loved this wonderful poem Esther, and I loved reading that he went travelling despite his social anxiety - such incredible bravery, and I am excited to learn more about these challenges he has inspired you to take on too Xx
Thanks Romey! I was originally going to give more details here but decided I didn’t want to dilute the impact of the girl’s words, because they blew me away. So next week is the big reveal 😉🙌
Yes, such a brave person and it’s good to feel Dom as that inspiration now. Our children are so very much part of the people we are becoming, when we break out of that chrysalis, aren’t they. Here’s to being a work-in-progress 🐛 🦋 ❤️ xx
Yes, Dom did see life as an adventure and I guess now we are on the scariest one of our lives, wading through such difficult stuff making sure we keep our eyes open for the treasure.
Although he travelled solo, Dom obviously found beautiful people as he went along and so have I. Thanks for being one of them 🙏❤️
It really is a solo journey, until we find our tribe. I am so grateful for the tribe I've found on Substack, and you've helped it grow, tremendously, with your TTT columns.
The words from the young woman Dom cooked with... So touching and beautiful.
Esther, your own words of love and loss are eloquent and so important. Thank you for sharing your Dom with us.
Thank you Nancy. Such tender witnessing from you 🙏It’s one of my favourite things now, to find new ways to express that underdying love. It always trumps the loss if I let it ❤️
Dom touching lives, yes, I believe this. His view now, from a forever changing vista. Reminding us that change is our friend, to be lived now. Indeed we are their memory keepers and creators. Hitch hiking along on all our adventures our beloveds are doing.
Cooking again with Dom. He has a few new tricks up his sleeve, no doubt.
Feeling your heart woven throughout.
Beautiful, Team Esther and Dom. 💜
Thanks Joanie, your words warm and fill my mum heart ❤️ Ever changing vistas for Dom is such a beautiful thought. And of course ours change too as you say. It’s made me think about the poem depicting our climbing the grief mountain to achieve a different view.
A New Beginning by S.C. Lourie
Sometimes I wonder why life feels
So uphill most of the time.
But maybe the mountains are rooting for us.
Maybe they want us to see sights
We would never get to see without them.
Because in that moment,
When life takes your breath away
For all her beauty, you are reborn.
And I don't think there is anything
More perfect in this world
Than a new beginning.
As ever, your words about Dom’s life and influence beyond his 30 years land so beautifully for me. 🙏❤️
What a delight to review a message about Dom you have not seen before. New discoveries warm your heart. May you have many more.
Thank you Pam. Yes, we bereaved parents know that these stories are treasures which we fold tightly into our hearts whenever we hear them 🙏❤️
Even if we have heard the same ones, it’s like it’s new.
Exactly ❤️
Beautiful poem. I wish you peace.
Thanks John, much appreciated 🙏❤️
Esther, your words always find a way to reach right through the screen. The way you write about Dom, about the light he brought and the love he left behind, is powerful and deeply moving. I can feel his presence in your memories and in the courage you show, sharing both the pain and the vibrant fullness of his life. Thank you for letting us witness this journey with you. I just want you to know I’m here, holding space for Dom’s story and for yours. Sending you warmth and admiration from across the miles.
What beautiful words to wake up to 😀 That you felt all these things in my writing means such a lot to me. I want my pieces to do two things: to honour my wonderful son, and to show that I understand how incredibly tough it is for parents to walk out of the darkness that shrouds this kind of loss.
Being witnessed as I do this is everything. Thank you Sunshine for doing this today 🙏❤️
I love how she put it—“ask to find”— like we will all be available to each other on the other side. We just have to look.❤️
I know, it was so beautiful the way she opened up this simple yet hugely encouraging idea. I felt a weight shift when I read it. Thank you Lisa 🙏❤️
The poem, your words about your son, the photos, your thoughts about them, the message left on Facebook from someone who knew your son that you just discovered - of of this and more in this post spoke to me, comforted me, resonated with me. Thank you. I too lost a child to suicide. I too have learned from that precious child who was an adult when she died about how to live life. I’m still learning how she impacted and remains a part of the lives of others. May you find comfort in know how both you and Dom have brought love and light into the lives of others who keep on living after such tragic loss. Thank you again.
Sally, thank you so much for this lovely reflection on this post and my larger aim to help other parents who face this terrible loss. It is not at all easy, of course. So many aspects to our grief which trip us up and we have to work to face-down if we are to honour ourselves and our precious child.
I’m glad you have developed a relationship with your daughter which allows you to feel her presence in your life and celebrate the impact she made in the time she had on this earth. This is where our healing lies, isn’t it.
Sending love ❤️
Dom lives in this love and light of yours, reflecting on and on.
Thank you Stephanie, such lovely words 🙏❤️
Esther, you continue to inspire me with the way that you value Dom's life so beautifully and that you are committed to living yours as fully as you can. I also love that you found the message from the girl who cooked with him. These small gestures mean so much. You are a wonderful mother.
Davina 🙏 Thank you for seeing and knowing me. It means such a lot. As did that beautifully timed message I found.
And yes to committing to making our children’s lives count beyond the years they were granted, as you so beautifully do with Sam too ❤️❤️❤️
Esther, I read your article twice because I didn’t want to miss anything about your awesome son, Dom. Dom was truly a gift in so many ways, leaving an unforgettable mark on this world and on the people who loved him. I especially loved the touching story about his trip to Vietnam and the young woman from Cambodia who made such an impression on him. It revealed the depth of his heart, his compassion, and the way he embraced life so fearlessly.
Dom lived courageously, and I agree with you completely that he fought a good fight. Like Kevin, he battled with all his strength. Unfortunately, their disease won. But I believe with all my heart that they were incredibly brave.
Mental illness robbed us of our beautiful boys, and that truth is heartbreaking beyond words. Thank you for writing such a touching, revealing, and loving piece about your son. Through your words, his spirit shines so brightly, and may his life continue to touch others.❤️
Thank you for witnessing Dom so beautifully with me. It really means such a lot Chano. Our boys will always be present if we keep honouring their struggles and viewing them, quite rightly, through the prism of courage 🙏❤️
Yes, so true ❤️
Such a powerful transitional poem, Esther...realizing that neither Dom nor you belonged in the shadows. Oof! Coming to that acknowledgement...when the shadows that grief throws are difficult to step out of, the shadows that depression throws being the same...is opening the door to the daylight. How often we wonder if there will ever be enough light in the room to have those dark spaces disappear. Praying that there always is enough light. Trusting there is. Big hugs to you, my friend. Many blessings and MUCH LOVE. ~Wendy💜
Thank you Wendy! It’s so important that these shadows are acknowledged, isn’t it. So that they become, to use your words, a transitional place. We transition through them, to a place of light, on different cycles, I believe. Some very small…hour to hour, day to day at the start, and then, as time goes on, the cycle gets bigger. I still have moments of returning there but the realisation that it’s really not where I’m meant to be is becoming a known memory. And I believe Dom is part of that knowing now, always nudging me to remember we both belong in a much happier place.
As ever, being deeply witnessed as you do me means so much. Sending much love to you too ❤️
💜💜💜
I love hearing about Dom. SE Asian travel and food - my favourite topics! Thank you for sharing him with us xx
Oh it’s an absolute pleasure! Thank you for your enthusiasm for both those things, he’d be thrilled Shamala 🙏❤️ xx
Beautiful, heartbreaking and inspiring. As your words usually are.
Thanks Phillip…always hope to end on the upbeat 🙏❤️
We are all connected in someway or other without knowing aren’t we ?
Yes. A reassuring and important realisation. Thanks Dorothy 🙏❤️
Beautiful Dom, 'still so present', forever and always ♾️
I loved this wonderful poem Esther, and I loved reading that he went travelling despite his social anxiety - such incredible bravery, and I am excited to learn more about these challenges he has inspired you to take on too Xx
Thanks Romey! I was originally going to give more details here but decided I didn’t want to dilute the impact of the girl’s words, because they blew me away. So next week is the big reveal 😉🙌
Yes, such a brave person and it’s good to feel Dom as that inspiration now. Our children are so very much part of the people we are becoming, when we break out of that chrysalis, aren’t they. Here’s to being a work-in-progress 🐛 🦋 ❤️ xx
So looking forward to next week's post Esther, and findings out what wonderful things you and Dom are collaborating on next!!! 💛💛💛Xx
Romey 😀❤️ xx
Esther, your poetry is beautiful. There's so much depth between the words!
My heart was so happy for you to find the post with the heartfelt message about your Dom. Those memories from others are such treasures, aren't they?
I love the pictures of Dom. What an adventure!
Thank you Nikki🤗
Yes, Dom did see life as an adventure and I guess now we are on the scariest one of our lives, wading through such difficult stuff making sure we keep our eyes open for the treasure.
Although he travelled solo, Dom obviously found beautiful people as he went along and so have I. Thanks for being one of them 🙏❤️
It really is a solo journey, until we find our tribe. I am so grateful for the tribe I've found on Substack, and you've helped it grow, tremendously, with your TTT columns.
❤️❤️❤️