START small

Poems of Loss, Love and Light.

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START small

It's easy to feel helpless,
to question what difference 
we can really make.
But change always begins slowly.
All that matters is
what we do, right now.

So don’t wait for permission
or worry about your audience.
Because no-one is looking!
And it needn’t be huge,
little things start to grow 
when they meet a big heart.

Just remember, 
no-thing gets better
unless we commit to doing  
some-thing.
So don't delay, 
it’s time to START

small…

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So many of us feel powerless to make a dent in what can feel like an increasingly unkind world. But historically, important changes have frequently come from tiny beginnings, and this is an important reminder that everything we do matters and has the potential to make a positive difference.

Today’s poem was inspired by a plaque I saw on the wall in the Airbnb we hired, for a family break, to celebrate my birthday last month. I loved it so much that I ordered one to put on the wall back home.

I think my son Dom would have approved of the Starfish story. When he died so many people wrote about the impact he’d had on their lives, his friends referencing his unfailing kindness and encouragement, and others who’d struggled with their own mental health remembered what a difference the quiet, unwitnessed conversations he’d started had made to them. It was such a privilege to include all these memories in the book we put together to honour him for his second anniversary.

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Since I lost my son, I’ve been drawn to looking for meaning in the everyday. That’s why, when I returned from the weekend away, I decided to look up what Starfish symbolise. I was very moved by what I read.

Because I discovered these amazing creatures have remarkable healing powers. When a starfish loses one of its limbs, it has the ability to regenerate it, growing a completely new limb in its place. As such, they are a powerful symbol of resilience, and the potential for renewal.

My son died almost 5 years ago, and inevitably, as we approach his latest anniversary, the number 5 has been on my mind. I’m grateful that the little five-legged creature gave me a nudge, because its symbolic meaning, as well as the starfish’s story, is such a powerful reminder of the life that still remains. That’s why I’ve given it pride of place on the wall in my hallway, so it’s the first thing I see when I walk into the house.

Right next to Dom’s yellow hat.

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My aim in all my writing is to share my journey in ways which help other parents navigating child loss feel less alone. Posts are free…but if you wish to show support, I always appreciate new subscribers and any sharing of my work. The buttons are below, thank you.

Stories from other bereaved parents can be found in Tears, Tools and Treasure. The link to subscribe is below. And if you would like to share your own story here, you are warmly welcomed to DM me.